Tidal Wave
by hopelessxlove
Summary: malex potentially.
1. Blame Is A Killer

**Tidal Wave**

Random idea, not quite sure what I want to do with it yet. Reviews would be great.

**Part One: Blame Is A Killer**

"You need to stop" Alex stated firmly taking a hold of Marissa's forearms, stilling her movements.  
"Get your hands off me!" Marissa screamed. She began to violently shake her arms to rid herself of Alex's firm grip.  
"Marissa stop!" Alex commanded, for a fleeting moment Alex saw a glimpse of the old Marissa in the brunette's eyes, but as soon as the image appeared it was gone.  
"Let go!" Marissa screamed once again, "I hate you!" She continued, upon hearing those words everything stopped. Alex felt her hands loosen and Marissa tore her arms out of Alex's grasp. The blonde took a few steps backwards subconsciously; it was almost as if her feet had a mind of their own.

In that moment, Marissa froze. She couldn't believe the words had actually come out of her mouth. She took a step towards Alex, but for every step she took, Alex took one back.

"Alex I"  
"Stop" Alex stated abruptly.  
"I-"  
"Let me guess you didn't mean it." Alex interrupted; neither took their eyes off of each other.  
"I didn't" Marissa said shaking her head in the process.  
"Then why did you say it?" Alex questioned, she searched Marissa's face for an answer.  
"It just came out, I was angry…" Marissa's voice trailed off.  
"Obviously it came out for a reason, clearly there's something you're not telling me." Alex folded her arms across her chest, and Marissa felt a wall begin to build itself up around the blonde.

---

Marissa squeezed her eyes shut knowing what was going to happen. No matter how hard she pushed him back, how hard she tried to get him off of her the fact of the matter was he was bigger and stronger. He pushed his lips onto hers and forcefully jammed his tongue into her mouth. Turning her head Marissa broke the contact between their lips, causing fury to rise in the eyes of her attacker.

"Stop acting like you don't want this!" He sneered at her.  
"I don't!" Marissa shouted loudly, trying again to push him back.  
"Well that's too fucking bad," He whispered loudly into her ear, letting his hand trail down her sides. No one touched her like that, no one expect for Alex and Marissa felt herself shudder at the touch.  
"You like that don't you baby?" His voice was booming in her ears, clamping her eyes shut Marissa tried desperately to block out everything, his voice, his touch, his presence.

---

They'd been like that for awhile; fighting, bickering, there was no playfulness behind the words or actions anymore. There was an obvious shift in the relationship, Marissa had become angrier. Alex tried to be patient, she tried to be understanding, but Marissa pushed her to her limits on a constant basis. There was only so much she could take and she had reached the point where enough was enough, no matter how hard she tried to keep herself in check, she couldn't keep taking it. She knew she couldn't blame Marissa for anything; the incident had taken its toll on both of them.

"You were supposed to save me." Marissa finally murmured keeping her welled up eyes fixated on the ground between them.  
"I…" Alex paused; she didn't know what to say. Every day since it had happened she blamed herself for not being able to stop it, for not being there, for not being able to protect her. _'She blames me too'_, Alex thought to herself unable to meet Marissa's eyes.

**TBC**


	2. The Past and Pending

**Tidal Wave**

I suppose I should probably state that I know I've got a few other stories that are works in progress…but I haven't felt a need or want to write much for those…I'm sure I'll finish them/try to wrap them up eventually but yeah. Also I wanted to mention that this switches from past to present quite a few times throughout the chapter as well as the whole story.

**Chapter Two: The Past and Pending**

"That son of a bitch is going to pay." A voice spit out. Marissa found it difficult to open her eyes, especially since the lights were so bright. The voices speaking above her didn't help, but they all seemed to hush when they saw her eyes opening. She felt someone squeeze her hand and glanced to the left, seeing Alex who offered her a tight lipped smile.  
"Hey" Alex murmured, using her free hand to tuck some of Marissa's hair behind her ear.  
"What happened?" Marissa croaked her voice raspy. Alex opened her mouth to speak, but closed it quickly wondering what to tell her. Seth led Ryan out of the room quietly leaving Alex and Marissa alone.

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked, moving to sit on the bed. Marissa flinched noticeably at the action causing Alex to pause her movements before sitting back down into the chair.  
"Everything hurts…" Marissa trailed off, turning her head away from Alex's gaze.  
"Do you know what happened?" Alex pressed gently.  
Marissa shook her head as tears sprang to her eyes, "He was…I…I can't…I tried to block it out."  
Alex nodded subtly, while brushing some of her tears away with her thumb. It was then that Marissa noticed how red and raw looking Alex's eyes were; they didn't hold the intensity they usually did.

"You aren't going to leave me right?" Marissa's quiet voice asked breaking Alex out of her thoughts. Alex's eyes softened at her words, and she shook her head lightly. She made a move to get closer but saw Marissa flinch once again at her movements. She sat back down, offering her a forced smile, "I'll always be here for you", Alex murmured pretending that Marissa's actions hadn't hurt her feelings.

---

"I knew you blamed me" Alex finally said shaking her head in the process. The blond had been unable to meet Marissa's gaze and after speaking still found it difficult.  
"I didn't-"  
"Don't" Alex interrupted holding up a hand, "Don't try to take it back. I know I was supposed to save you okay? I know I was supposed to be there. I know I'm supposed to protect you. I know everything I'm supposed to do, should do but I didn't. I couldn't. So don't try to say you didn't mean it because I know you did. I know you blame me, hell I blame me. I wish so much that I could take it away for you, take what happened away," Alex paused, "but I can't. I couldn't save you and that's my fault." She whispered, finally bringing her eyes up to meet Marissa's.

Neither spoke, they stood starring at each other, almost willing the other one to speak first. The silence in the room was becoming almost unbearable. All Marissa wanted was for Alex to put her arms around her and just hold her, that simple action gave Marissa more comfort than anything else. Alex shook her head, all she wanted to do was to kiss Marissa and tell her things would be okay, but almost every time she touched her Marissa would flinch, and as much as she tried to not let it get to her, it hurt. It hurt every single fucking time.

---

The bed was shaking. Alex awoke with a start, all of the covers had been stripped off of her and Marissa seemed to be tangled in them. She was flailing her arms out but they seemed to be stuck because of the jumbled blankets. "No…please…no…." Alex heard Marissa mumble in her sleep, she knew what was happening and what she needed to do. Sitting up Alex gently shook Marissa until her movements stopped. She pulled at the blankets loosening the tangles around Marissa's body and proceeded to wrap her arms around the taller girl. Marissa stiffened at Alex's touch and tried to push her away, but Alex held on tighter, holding in her urge to cry as Marissa's tears started seeping into her shirt.  
"Shhh baby its okay, it's just me." Alex whispered into Marissa's hair, firming her grip. After a few moments Alex felt Marissa relax in her arms and her breathing begin to calm.

This had been the fourth nightmare that week and Alex knew they weren't going to end anytime soon.

---

Wearily Alex tore her eyes away from Marissa's; she didn't want to feel like her own girlfriend didn't want her. But she knew that she couldn't blame her for feeling that way, there was only one person she could blame and that was herself. She should have been there; she should have been able to save her.


	3. Everybody Learns from Disaster

**Tidal Wave**

**Reviews and thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. Thank you to those who continue to leave me feedback. **

**Part Three: Everybody Learns from Disaster**

"Look I can't be here right now," Alex finally spoke up, her voice shaking.  
"What do you mean?" Marissa questioned, taking a tentative step forward. Her arms were wrapped around herself in a protective manner.  
"I can't do this right now."  
"Alex please-" Marissa tried, her voice conveyed no harshness.  
"This is just too much, I can't do it." Alex answered clearly frustrated and shaking her head in the process.  
"Can we talk about this?"  
"I don't want to talk about this; I don't want to think about this, I don't want to deal with this right now." The brashness of Alex's voice caused Marissa to pause and look at the girl in front of her.

This was the first time that either of them had uttered one word about what didn't happen that night that changed everything. Marissa knew Alex beat herself up for what had happened, but at least she didn't have to deal with being the one that was attacked. At least she didn't have to stand in the shower a couple times a day for thirty minutes until her skin was red, at least she didn't have to worry about walking down an alley by herself, at least she didn't have to fear being alone.

"You never want to talk about it." Marissa started bringing her eyes up to the ceiling. Alex gave a deep sigh, and began to rub her temples. She knew that if she didn't think about her words something regrettable would spit out, she knew she had to keep herself in check especially if she didn't want to hurt the girl standing mere feet away from her.  
"You act like this shit happened to you, you don't have to live with this!" Marissa hurled the words at her, her voice rising. Alex knew she was getting angrier by the second.  
"No," Alex began, "I don't."  
"So what's the big fucking deal? Stop trying to hide from it-"  
"What's the big fucking deal?" Alex interrupted, meeting Marissa's eyes, "I'm afraid to bring it up around you! I have to watch everything I say and do around you! I mean for god sakes I can't even come near you without you flinching! How do you think that makes me feel? I know I have to give you space and be patient but it's so goddamn hard! Especially when you take out all your anger and frustration out on me! You think it's easy for me to wake up in the middle of the night and hear you cry? You think it's easy for me to hold you even when you push me away? Do you think it's easy for me to live with the fact that I couldn't do anything to stop it?"  
"Alex" Marissa murmured biting her lip; she felt the tears begin to prick her eyes.  
"I'm sorry."

There she went apologizing again for something that wasn't her fault Marissa thought. She knew deep down that she needed to stop letting her anger out on Alex, but it was _easier_ to be frustrated with someone else, because it made her forget about what had happened. But she knew it wasn't fair, not to herself and especially not to Alex.

The brunette watched the blond through teary eyes, unable to move from her spot. She wanted desperately to say something, to say anything that would make the situation better but no words came to mind. She took a deep breath to steady her breathing which had to her surprise become ragged. As she opened her mouth to speak, Alex's voice broke the silence, "I can't be here."  
"Okay" the word rolled off her tongue and before she could fully comprehend what she had said or what it meant, Alex had already walked out of the apartment, leaving her completely on her own.

**Thoughts? Reviews? **


	4. Here's to Forgetting

**Tidal Wave**

**It wasn't my intention to wait this long to post…thanks for the reviews and I hope you enjoy! The breaks indicate the switchage of time/past/present, etc. As always please do leave feedback, I appreciate it.**

**Part Five: Here's to Forgetting**

Alex sat at her usual stool, at her usual bar, nursing her third beer. She had started out downing shots, but thought better of it after her second. She knew that if she consumed enough alcohol she would be able to forget about the fight. She also knew that if she consumed too much she could potentially be a blubbering mess and she wasn't about to let her fellow bar patrons see her in that kind of state. After much contemplation the blond had decided that beer would be the safer option, she still needed to think about everything that had happened.

"Hey" a voice said from behind before joining her at the bar.  
"Seth" Alex stated, resting her head on one hand.  
"What're you doing here?" The curly haired boy questioned.  
"Thinking, drinking, you know." He nodded in response before ordering his own beer.

**---**

Alex walked into the bar not surprised to see Seth and Ryan sitting at one of the corner tables, she made her way over to them, noticing the abundant amount of empty bottles that littered the table and slid into the free chair.  
"What're you doing?" Ryan slurred out, setting his bottle down. Alex could tell he had more than enough, the dirty blond never drunk himself to the point of slurred speech, at least not in front of her.  
"Getting a drink" Alex stated calmly.  
"Where's Marissa?" Seth asked, obviously the more sober one.  
"She's with her mo-"  
"Did you get that sonabitch yet?" Ryan interjected after taking another pull from his bottle. Alex merely shook her head, glancing down at the table.  
"You shouldn't be here; you should be with her" Ryan continued his speech slurred.  
"Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't do." Alex snapped at him, she was tired of taking people's bullshit. She already had to deal with enough from Marissa and her own mind never relented.  
"I wouldn't treat her like this," the dirty blond stood shaking his head, "and I wouldn't have let it happen. I would have killed that sonabitch for doing that to her." Alex rolled her eyes at Ryan's outburst.

Out of nowhere, Ryan grabbed Alex's arm roughly, pulling her up and out of her seat. "She deserves someone whose gonna protect her." Ryan's face was mere inches away from Alex's and she had to hold everything inside of herself from decking him right then and there. Seth jumped out of his seat and pushed Ryan back; taking a hold of his arms, knowing that if he didn't step in there was going to be a fight.  
"You don't let that kinda shit happen to someone you love." Ryan continued trying to twist out of Seth's grasp as he was being pulled out of the bar.

She knew Ryan had a thing for Marissa. But the fact of the matter was that Marissa was with her. Alex had thought that Ryan had come to understand that, come to understand that there was never going to be anything between them. She should have known that he still harbored feelings for her.

Alex made her way towards the bar after she saw Ryan disappear from view. A few minutes later Seth joined her silently. The two sat side by side, each taking their time to finish their drinks.  
"He didn't mean it you know." Seth said once both beers were empty. Alex merely shrugged.  
"He's in love with her." Seth added quietly, "I know we're all friends but he's been in love with her for a long time and when that happened…he just feels like it could have been prevented. I mean everyone knows it couldn't have been, but he's just being an idiot. He didn't mean it, any of it." Alex sat silently, her eyes never leaving the empty bottle, "he's right though."

**---**

"Are you okay?" Seth questioned bringing Alex out of her memory.  
"Yeah just thinking is all." The blond answered vaguely.  
"What's on your mind?" The dark haired boy questioned wanting to help his friend.  
"Marissa" she stated simply, "We got into a fight." She added as an afterthought.  
"What happened Al?" Seth asked gently using her nickname.  
"Things just got out of hand," she paused, "I know she blames me for what happened."  
"Al," Seth tried, "that's not something that can be blamed on anyone. It's not like you were telling someone to go do that to her. It's not your fault." Seth's voice trailed off as he realized Alex had stopped listening. He sighed deeply and did the only thing a friend in his position could do, he ordered them another round of drinks.

**Thoughts? Review?**


	5. Sleep Through the Summer

**Tidal Wave**

Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter! I hope you enjoy this one, and as always reviews are appreciated! I do apologize cause this is a little shorter than usual.

**Part Five: Sleep Through the Summer**

After successfully unlocking the front door; Alex stumbled into the semi-dark apartment. She hadn't meant to stay out so late, but the drinks had kept coming and nothing else had seemed more appealing than drowning out her sorrows.

She wasn't surprised to see the lone lamp on. Since the attack Marissa had insisted on some source of light always being on, especially at night.

---

Alex glanced at her wrist watch cursing herself for getting home so late. She had tried to make it back relatively earlier, but work had run late and then Seth had wanted to grab a drink and she knew she shouldn't have but she needed a break and soon one thing led to another and before she knew it an hour had passed. Shaking her head Alex hoped Marissa was asleep and okay.

Slipping into the apartment quietly, the brightness of the lights made her blink furiously. Taking a few strides to the light switch she flicked them off, making her way towards the bedroom. She wasn't surprised to see the bedside lamp on, however she was surprised to see the unmade bed empty. Her mind shifted and her thoughts were consumed by Marissa, where was she?

Alex heard a distinct whimper come from the closet and made her way over tentatively. She slid the door open slowly, seeing nothing until she looked down. Marissa's arms were wrapped around her legs and there were tears in her eyes. Alex knelt down to her level, and felt the brunette latch onto her, almost clinging for dear life.

"Baby what's wrong?" Alex whispered into Marissa's light brown hair, rubbing her back.  
"I..was…scared…you you weren't home." Marissa stuttered out through ragged breaths. Alex felt her heart sink, she should have just come straight home.  
"I'm sorry," the blond apologized quietly, "work ran late".  
"Don't ever leave me" Marissa murmured. It wasn't the first time Alex had heard those words, heard that request.  
"I'm not going anywhere." She answered honestly.  
"Promise?" Marissa's voice was hopeful.  
"I'll always be here, I promise."

---

Making her way towards the bedroom Alex wasn't surprised to see the light on, but she was surprised to see Marissa wrapped up in their blanket, obviously asleep. Leaning against the frame, Alex stood awhile watching the girl she loved.

After washing her face with cold water and slipping into more comfortable clothes she contemplated how she would get into the bed. The way Marissa sometimes reacted to her touch was still clear in her mind. Slowly the blond eased herself into the bed, placing a tentative hand on the sleeping girl's hip.

Alex placed a simple kiss on the space between Marissa's shoulder blades, knowing that was her favorite spot. She felt the taller girl curl into her body and latch on tightly. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol playing a foul trick on her or if the brunette had subconsciously done what she'd always done. It had been awhile since Marissa had done that, almost as if going back to their sleeping routine. Either way Alex knew she hadn't felt that good in weeks.

**Thoughts/Reviews?!**


	6. Paperweight

**Tidal Wave**

Thanks for the comments, this part is a bit short.

**Part Six: Paperweight**

Alex's eyes fluttered open briefly when she realized she was alone but she closed them instantly to rid the headache that was pummeling through her. Taking a deep breath she dragged her left hand up to her forehead, covering her eyes in the process. Feeling a shift on the bed, Alex removed her arm and perched herself up on her elbow.

At the edge of the bed Marissa sat with her back towards the blond, her entire body slumped forward. Alex wished she wasn't hungover mainly because it seemed as if each and every move she made caused her headache to worsen. Biting her bottom lip she pushed herself up and crawled across the short distance of the bed towards Marissa. She contemplated touching her, wrapping her arms around her, and kissing the base of her neck but she didn't do anything. Instead she merely placed her head on the taller girls shoulder. Alex felt her stiffen momentarily but then relax.

"Morning" Alex mumbled mainly into Marissa's neck. The brunette didn't respond, she continued to stare at the empty wall in front of her.  
"Babe you okay?" Alex pressed gently wrapping one hand around Marissa loosely.

Marissa gave a short nod before turning her attention towards the blond perched on her shoulder; she gave Alex a quick kiss on the nose before offering her a small smile. Leaning in Alex captured Marissa's lips with her own, forgetting all about the pounding in her head.

Feeling Marissa kiss her back and not pull away Alex took that as her cue to deepen the kiss. One of her hands found the small of Marissa's back, while the other found its place on the taller girl's cheek. The blond felt Marissa's hands begin to tangle in her hair and maneuvered herself so that she was straddling her. Using the weight of her body Alex gently pushed Marissa back, leaving a trail of kisses down her neck in the process. Subconsciously Alex trailed her hand up and down Marissa's side, which caused the taller girl to shudder before pushing Alex back roughly causing her to fall onto the floor.

"Shit" Alex muttered pushing herself up into a sitting position, feeling the pain in her head intensify. Neither spoke for a few minutes processing what had just happened, the only sound in the room was their deep breathing. Slowly Alex rose from the ground and took a seat on the bed next to Marissa, taking her hand gently in the process.

"I'm sorry." Alex said quietly, trying to meet her eyes.  
"Don't be…I thought I could…I just….I'm sorry." Marissa answered unable to meet the blond's intense stare.  
"No," Alex replied shaking her head, "I shouldn't have pushed, I should have known."  
"I just thought I was ready…that I could. I'm sorry." Marissa repeated once more.  
"Stop doing that," Alex stated, "You have nothing to be sorry for. When you're ready, you're ready. I still love you, no worries." Alex smiled hoping to elicit a laugh from Marissa's tense demeanor though it seemed to go unnoticed.


	7. Love Comes Back Around, Eventually

**Tidal Wave**

Happy V-Day guys! Sorry for the short chapter, just wanted to give you an update! I'm still working on this, trying to anyway…been dealing with a bout of writers block. Reviews would be great though!

**Part Seven: Love Comes Back Around, Eventually**

Alex tapped her foot impatiently as her fingers drummed on the chair armrest, she felt Marissa shoot her a look that made her pause her movements but only momentarily. They'd been sitting there for almost ten minutes and neither of them had so much spoken one word.

She didn't know why she had suggested accompanying Marissa to her weekly therapy session; it wasn't something she had ever done before, or something she thought Marissa would have said yes to. But here she was, here they were, together waiting in the dark paneled room not speaking to each other. There were plaques and certificates hanging on the walls, which only indicated to Alex how expensive the therapist was.

The office door opened and Alex heard heels click across the floor and make their way to the desk situated directly in front of them. The blond eyed the dark raven haired women in front of her, her designer eye glasses sat perched on her nose and her suit bore no wrinkles or imperfections, this was a lady of pure business.

"Ladies I apologize, I hope you have not been waiting too long."  
"We just got here." Marissa lied, while Alex merely offered a smile.  
"So Marissa what would you like to talk about today?" The older woman asked, opening her notebook and uncapping a pen.

Marissa shrugged her shoulders and then began to examine her nails, while her therapist wrote down a few words before turning her attention to Alex.  
"Are you the famous Alex I've been hearing about?" The blond nodded her head, wondering what Marissa had told her, "I'm Dr. Braven."  
"Nice to meet you Doc," Alex paused, "I mean Dr. Braven."  
"You can call me doc," she smiled, "I'm glad Marissa finally brought you to one of our sessions."  
"Yeah me too"  
"Marissa tells me you're a bartender."  
"Yeah" Alex nodded.  
"She was on her way to see you that night it happened." Alex shot a quick glance at Marissa. This doctor sure didn't wait, she just seemed to go straight to the point.  
"Yes, I got held up at work. I kept telling myself I would call and just tell her to wait for me at home, but I never got a chance."  
"How did you feel when you got the call? When you found out what had happened."  
"I was upset, I was angry, I," Alex clenched her fists, trying to compose her thoughts, "I wanted to kill that sonabitch that did it, that hurt her. I'm not going to lie I still do. Every day since it happened all I can do is blame myself for not being able to be there, to stop it."  
"Interesting," Dr. Braven said jotting down a few notes, "Alex you can't blame yourself for this, just like how Marissa can't blame herself for what happened. The hardest thing is to accept what happened and try to get past it, it sounds easier said than done. But you have to realize that you can't go back and change it, or prevent it."

Alex felt Marissa intertwine their fingers together and give her a light squeeze.

"In situations like this blame is the easiest thing to do, to feel. You want to fault someone for this happening, and it's easier to blame yourself for what you didn't do than to see the big picture."  
"Big picture?" Alex repeated, meeting Dr. Braven's gaze.  
"This happened and instead of dwelling on should have could have, you should be looking for ways to move forward. Maybe this situation will make you two stronger, individually and together as a couple."  
"It's so hard though." Marissa finally spoke up.  
"I know it's hard but what's life without difficulties? The good things never come easy; the hardships are what make commitments worthwhile."

"Sometimes when I close my eyes I see his face," Marissa said finding her voice, "sometimes when Alex kisses me I feel his lips, I imagine feeling his stubble scratch my skin. I feel his rough hands on me. I try to block it out but doesn't seem to go away." Alex felt her hand go limp at Marissa's confession.  
"I'm not saying that things will get easier right away, or that things will normalize anytime soon. The first step is to acknowledge the things that happened and try to work through what you're feeling, and then maybe you can get back on track. You need to know that things won't go back to how they were. All you can do is take it one day at a time," Dr. Braven's pen had stopped writing and she held it in mid air, "you need to ask yourself if you're willing to work at this."  
"I'm willing to do anything for her" Alex voiced out keeping her eyes focused on Dr. Braven's pen.  
"And you Marissa?" The doctor questioned, her pen having resumed writing.  
"I've been working at this; I've been dealing with this." Marissa grumbled, obviously frustrated.  
"Do you care to tell me why you are so upset?"  
"I'm upset because I feel like we're not making any progress! I've been coming here for weeks and we're still at the same point. Nothing's changed!" Marissa's voice had risen substantially; all Alex could do was look at her, semi surprised at her outburst.  
"Marissa these things take time, you can't put a deadline on this." Dr. Braven tried to reason, she like Alex knew how upset Marissa was becoming and knew that keeping her calm would be the best option at least if they wanted to make any progress.


	8. Your Life and Mine

**Tidal Wave**

Sorry for the lack of updates…I'm working on it.

**Part Eight: Your Life and Mine**

"So tell me how you two met." Dr. Braven said after settling down into her chair. This was Alex's second time at Marissa's therapy session that week. After the first meeting the two seemed to get along a little better than before, they had actually been able to communicate instead of yell and walk away from each other.

"It was at a party about two years ago-"  
"April fifth" Alex interrupted, "the song playing was I'll be here by Just Surrender."  
"You remember that?" Marissa questioned turning her attention towards Alex.  
"Of course I do, I remember everything important."  
"You're such a sap."  
"You remember the things about the people you love." Alex added quietly under her breath.

"Why don't you continue Marissa?" Dr. Braven prodded, knowing full well that the atmosphere of the room was due to change if no one spoke.  
"Like I was saying, we met at a party. Seth introduced me to Ryan, who I knew liked me."  
"He still does…" Alex quipped up.  
"Do you want to tell this story?" Marissa snapped, obviously getting annoyed at Alex's inputs. Alex merely held her hands up in surrender.  
"So Ryan tried to talk to me, but he was a real bore. He's not much for words, so a majority of the time we'd stand there not saying anything. Finally he offered to get me a drink and I figured I could use that as my escape." A soft laugh escaped Marissa's lips as she was brought back to that night.

_"So I'll go get you a refill?" Ryan said starting to walk backwards. Marissa merely shrugged as she watched him disappear from view and started walking in the opposite direction. She wanted to find Seth and bitch at him for leaving her with him._

_Marissa walked around aimlessly, stopping to chat with people she hadn't seen as well as trying to avoid running into Ryan. She spotted a tall figure with curly brown hair and knew right away that it was Seth. She saw him go out the back door and pushed her way through the groups of people towards his direction._

_When she was outside she saw Seth talking animatedly with a blonde girl who had her back towards her. Walking over towards the two, Marissa realized they were the only ones outside. She could hear the music and voices coming from the house but it was substantially quieter. She stood awhile watching Seth and the mysterious girl talk._

_"Thanks for abandoning me back there." Marissa stated, slugging Seth in the arm.  
"Whatever," Seth laughed, "He's been bugging me to introduce you guys for like ever."  
"Marissa" Seth smiled, "I want you to meet someone." Marissa turned her attention to the girl standing with them, as clichéd as it was Marissa was awestruck by her beauty.  
"Hey I'm Alex." the blonde said, holding out an outstretched hand.  
"Marissa" the brunette responded taking her hand. There was a definite spark at the contact._

_"There you are" All three heads turned at the voice coming towards them, and Marissa let out a groan.  
"I've been looking everywhere for you, here's your drink." Ryan said holding out a cup towards her.  
"Actually Ry, I got her covered." Alex replied easily.  
"She's not even holding a drink." Ryan stated matter a factly.  
"I'm holding it for her stupid." Alex said holding up the cup in her hand, "Besides a pretty girl like her knows not to take a drink from a guy like you, you could have slipped something in there."  
"I" Ryan paused, clearly getting frustrated, "I wouldn't do that." He shot Alex a steely look.  
"Okay, okay we're going inside." Seth piped in clasping his hands on Ryan's shoulders, "Ladies if you'll excuse us."_

_"He doesn't like you much does he?" Marissa questioned once the boys were out of earshot.  
"Who Ryan? We don't get along too well."  
"He looked like he was about ready to hit you."  
"Yeah well I'm not afraid of him, he's a little bitch."_

"So you guys met at a party?" Dr. Braven restated, bringing Marissa out of her memory.  
"Yeah," Alex answered for her, "I offered to take her home that night."  
"And did you?" Alex merely nodded her head, a small smile playing on her lips.

_The two girls sat outside talking for well over an hour, both enjoying each other's company.  
"It's getting late and I have an early morning tomorrow." Marissa said disappointment evident in her voice.  
"Let me take you home." It was more a statement than a question, but Marissa didn't seem to mind. She merely offered a smile and a nod, as she took Alex's outstretched hand into her own._

"We've pretty much been together since then."  
"Interesting" Dr. Braven said writing in her notebook.

Marissa hadn't spoken much during the rest of the session which hadn't concerned Alex too much due to her constant and inconstant bouts with talking. Once the session had ended and the next appointment scheduled, the two girls thanked Dr. Braven and bid her goodbye.

Alex sat behind the wheel of her silver car, her fingers gripping the steering wheel lightly. Glancing over she noted Marissa's placid demeanor. The brunette's head was resting on the window and she looked as if she had a million thoughts going through her head.


	9. Break Me Out

**Tidal Wave**

First of all I'd like to apologize to those of you who follow/read this…I know an update has been long overdue. Anyways reviews would be appreciated as always. Enjoy!

**Part Nine: Break Me Out**

Alex burst in through the door having been denied entry from the bouncers for five minutes. Despite being a regular patron of Parlor for some unexplainable reason they had decided that tonight of all nights, they would heckle her and give her a hard time.

"Seth! Where is she?" Alex exclaimed out of breath once she spotted her friend.  
"Did you run here?" He questioned omitting answering her question.  
"Yes, now where is she?"  
"She's over there?" He answered, jerking his thumb towards a booth.  
"You left her?"  
"I had to go to the bathroom, she's with Ryan."  
"Ryan?" Alex repeated through clenched teeth.  
"Relax nothing happened, we got here and we saw her talking up some girl. Ryan was the one who told that girl to stay away."  
"Right" Alex muttered storming over to the booth.

Alex crossed her arms at the sight in front of her, Marissa's head was on Ryan's shoulder and he had a protective arm around her. The blond could feel her blood begin to boil; this wasn't supposed to be how it was. She wasn't supposed to see Marissa cuddled up to Ryan; she just wasn't, even if she was drunk.

"I'll take over from here" Alex said, holding in the anger.  
"It's about time you got here; your girlfriend's a wreck." Ryan stated.  
"Actually we're not together." Alex answered bitterly; she took note of the look on Ryan's face. She could see the shock as well as the question that flitted across his face of what he should do. Surprisingly he moved Marissa's head onto the back of the booth and slid out, motioning for Alex to get in.

The blond shot Ryan a grateful look, before getting in the booth where Marissa immediately snuggled up next to her.  
"Marissa" Alex whispered, "Let's get you home." Alex had one arm wrapped around Marissa's waist and had begun leading her out of the booth.  
"What are you doing here?" Marissa slurred, she was extremely intoxicated that much was clear.  
"I'm here to take you home."  
"I don't want you to."  
"Why not?"  
"Because you cheated on me!" Marissa yelled out. Various pairs of eyes landed on the two making their way towards the exit.  
"Let's not get into this right now." Alex managed out, continuing to hold the taller girl up and lead her out.  
"Why not?" Marissa seemed to be sobering up and getting angrier.  
"Because now is not the time."  
"I know you've been out fucking other people."  
"Marissa I really don't think now is the time-"  
"Then when is the time? Hmm? Just admit it!"  
"You broke up with me!" Alex yelled back, getting frustrated at the conversation at hand.

Despite getting upset Alex never released her hold on Marissa or loosened her grip.  
"I didn't think that us taking a break would result in you fucking everyone that could walk!" Marissa continued to yell while Alex quietly led her outside into the cool night. The fresh air was a drastic change from the stuffy club.

"Are you going to say anything?" Marissa demanded.  
"What do you want me to say?" Alex questioned, finally loosening her grip from around Marissa's waist.  
"Why did you do it? Were you that glad that we were done? Have you been secretly wanting this" Marissa gestured between herself and Alex rather sloppily, "to be done so you could screw other people?" Marissa seemed to be close to tears at this point, which only broke Alex's heart.

Alex remained quiet. She continued to lead Marissa towards the general direction of her mom's house, while contemplating what to say to her.  
"I'm right aren't I?" the brunette questioned.  
"Do you honestly think that little of me?"  
"I thought I knew you…I never thought you'd go sleep around right after." Marissa's steps were becoming less and less lucid, and she had started to stumble.

Crouching down Alex pulled Marissa onto her back and made sure she had a tight hold of Marissa's legs which were wrapped around her waist.

"Just answer me, tell me what I did." Marissa's voice was muffled but Alex still heard her.  
"You didn't do anything."  
"Then why did you fuck around the first chance you got?"  
"Do you think it's easy for me to think about anything other than you?" Alex questioned walking quickly in the dark street. "All I do is think about what I did wrong to make you want a break. I didn't go out and fuck around because I wanted to; I did it because that was the only thing that I could do that would get my mind off of you. And it's not even for long, right when it's over I'm back at square one. I'm back to thinking about you, missing you, wanting you. I drink to the point where I can't think and I fucked those people because I thought it would help me. Help me forget, help me miss you less. But it doesn't, because no matter what when I'm not with you I'm missing you."

"Tell me you love me" the demand had come out hushed masked in a sleepy tone.  
"What?" the blond questioned clearly perplexed, her eyes had snapped up towards the sky.

A silence settled over the two. The blond decided that her apartment was much closer than Marissa's house and quickly made a slight detour. As she walked she wondered what was going through the brunette's head. It wasn't until a few minutes later that the blond realized the girl on her back had fallen asleep.


	10. At The Wake

**Tidal Wave**

I'm sorry it took me forever to update. But on the plus side I've pretty much got this whole story finished up, so expect regular updates! ****

Part Ten: At the Wake

The cramp in Alex's neck was making her position uncomfortable. The couch she and Marissa lay on was not meant for sleeping, much less two people. However the fact that Marissa was there with her made things a little more bearable. Even though the brunette was still asleep, Alex felt a calmness that she hadn't felt in awhile. The girl she loved was there with her and in her arms; it felt like all was right in the world at least for now. She didn't know how things would go once Marissa woke up, but she tried to distinguish those thoughts and just enjoy the moment.

Though she didn't want to, her mind brought her back to the conversation she and Marissa had had two weeks prior:

_"It's not working anymore…." Marissa's eyes were cast downward; on the cup that sat on the coffee table, the words hadn't seemed too difficult for her to manage. They had just returned to the apartment from the most recent therapy session.  
"What do you mean?" Alex questioned, her eyes doubling in size. At the mere sound of Marissa's words Alex's entire face had changed._  
_"I'm saying that I think we're not right for each other." Marissa's tone was failing her, Alex could read her like a book.  
"I don't believe you."_ _  
"I think we should take a break, figure out some things." Neither made a move, the only_ _sound came from the dripping sink.  
"You don't mean that." Alex responded shaking her head, not believing the conversation at hand.  
Summoning all of her courage, Marissa looked up into Alex's eyes, "Look I'm leaving. I'm going to stay with my mom for awhile, take some time to sort everything out."_

Alex felt Marissa shift ever so slightly and knew that she would be awake soon; old habits never changed. She tried to savor the feeling of having Marissa in her arms, in case it was the last time she would be there. Closing her eyes Alex breathed in deeply, hoping that things would work out for the best.

"Morning" Marissa mumbled sleepily, looking up into Alex's blue eyes.  
"Do you want to get breakfast?" the blond questioned.  
"You don't do breakfast" Marissa answered, a skeptical look on her face.  
"For you I will make an exception," Alex said with an easy smile, "besides you know I don't ever turn down pancakes."  
"If I remember correctly, pancakes are the way to your heart." Alex merely laughed, tightening her hold on Marissa. She was surprised that there was no awkwardness; it was almost as if nothing had changed between them. **  
**"I don't think you have to worry about anyone getting into my heart." At Alex's words Marissa's entire face changed, the slight smile that had been playing at the corner of her lips was gone.

Marissa pushed herself up, breaking Alex's hold on her. She scooted to the other end of the couch while Alex pulled herself up into a sitting position.

"I didn't mean…" Alex trailed off, trying to think of something to say.  
"You don't have to explain anything to me."  
"I know I don't but I want to."  
"I'm not judging you for it or wondering why you did it. I understand why you did it, I just don't agree with it. I guess I just don't want to accept that you did those things." The brunette sighed.  
"So you heard everything I said last night?"  
"Pretty much." Marissa stated simply, there was no anger in her voice, just sadness.  
"I…I want to be with you. I don't want to be with-"  
"Don't say it Alex, please don't do this right now."  
"I…" Alex sighed dejectedly, "okay."  
"I don't know if I'll ever be able to be okay with what you did…When I found out I just felt like my world stopped. I was already dealing with so much and then all of that just got added onto it and….it was hard. I wasn't ready to hear something like that…I never thought you'd do that to me."  
"Marissa, I'm not asking you to be okay with it, or to forgive me. I mean what I did was inexcusable. I want to make things right with you, there's no one else I want to be with." Alex admitted, she regretted every one of her one night stands. Not just because it was a stupid thing to do but because it only brought her and Marissa further apart.

The two sat quietly at opposite ends of the couch. They both snuck glances at each other but neither knew what to say or how to act. The whole situation did nothing but add to their already strained relationship.

"I think I'm going to go." Marissa murmured breaking the silence.  
"When am I going to see you again?" Alex wondered aloud, following Marissa's lead and standing as well.  
"I have a therapy session tomorrow-"  
"I have to work…" Alex's voice trailed off, "you know that if I could go I would."  
The brunette nodded at Alex's words making her way towards the door, "I guess I'll just see you when I see you."


	11. Do You Remember

**Tidal Wave**

Reviews are appreciated, also I'd like to note I updated 2 stories today (though this chapter is a bit short)! Annnd also, also also there are only about 3 more chapters left of this I think, so yeah.

**Part Eleven: Do You Remember**

Alex hurried down the corridor, she knew she was going to be interrupting but she didn't care. She skidded to a halt and calmed her breathing before opening the door and walking inside the room. Marissa scrunched up her nose when she saw Alex sit down next to her, her eyes were asking what she was doing there.

"Sorry I'm late." Alex mumbled offering them both a small smile.  
"I thought you had to work." Marissa said, still not believing Alex was there.  
"Well if anyone asks I'm really sick."  
"We missed you the last few sessions Alex." Dr. Braven stated, going over her notes.  
"I wanted to be here but I didn't think it would be smart considering everything."  
"Well we're glad you're here with us today, right Marissa?" The brunette nodded, still surprised that Alex was sitting beside her. She should have known Alex was going to be there, it wasn't in her character to not be.

"Marissa when did you know you loved Alex?" Dr. Braven asked wiping her glasses with the end of her shirt.  
"It-"  
"Actually if you don't mind, I'd like to answer first." Alex interrupted.  
"If Marissa doesn't mind" Dr. Braven said looking over at the brunette who shook her head, "Go ahead Alex."  
"I think, no I always knew I loved her…I mean after talking to her that night at the party where we met I just knew there was something about her that was drawing me in. We just clicked. I knew I loved Marissa after our first date, I didn't tell her then for fear of you know being deemed crazy but I knew. When I kissed her that first night, I felt the sparks that people talk about. I'd never felt them before and I still feel them after each and every single kiss. No matter what happens or is going on between us when we kiss everything just slows down."  
"So you knew right away that you loved her, she didn't have to do anything to make you feel that way."  
"Is it crazy to just know?" Alex questioned, a finger tapping her temple.  
"I don't think so, for some people it takes years to realize it, to even acknowledge it."  
"Well I have always been a fast bloomer" Alex joked, easing the seriousness from the room.  
"What about you Marissa? When did you know?" Dr. Braven asked with a smile.  
"I knew when Alex didn't get mad at me for accidentally dying all of our clothes pink…she just laughed and I think right then I knew that I loved her and that I always would love her. She's always had this way about her where she just makes everything better. I don't quite know how to explain it but she makes me feel good, her presence brings me comfort. It's hard to be without her…away from her. When we're apart I just don't feel complete." Marissa brought her vision tentatively towards Alex's, surprised that there were tears beginning to form in the blonds eyes. They looked as if they were threatening to fall at any moment.

It felt like the right moment to say 'I love you', but with the therapist sitting mere feet away from them neither voiced it. Instead Alex grabbed Marissa's hand and gave her a long squeeze, trying to convey what she wanted to say through the simple gesture.

"You accidentally dyed all of your clothes pink?" Dr. Braven asked a hint of humor in her tone.  
"It was just some of the whites." Marissa piped in sheepishly.  
"I think it was all of them." Alex said with a laugh causing Dr. Braven to laugh as well, which only seemed to make Marissa's cheeks turn a bright shade of red.  
"It's okay though I mean I look really good in pink." Alex continued giving Marissa a knowing look, causing the doctor to laugh again.

They both hadn't laughed like that in awhile and it felt good to be able to let loose and forget about the stresses of everyday life. _'Skipping work was so worth it,'_ Alex thought to herself, the smile never far from her lips.


	12. Over My Head

**Tidal Wave**

Hi hi hi everyone, here's another update for you guys!**  
**

**Part Twelve: Over My Head **

Marissa still hadn't moved back in with Alex, neither had voiced an opinion in the matter. Alex knew not to push the subject because even though she missed the brunette she knew that they both had to figure out where they stood together first. Their relationship wasn't back to what it once was, but it did seem to be on the mend, which was better than being done and over with.

They hadn't talked about what had happened during their time apart, but both knew that it was bound to come up sooner or later. They knew that if they wanted to overcome the obstacles they faced they'd need to eventually talk about what had happened.

Alex flipped her phone shut, and set the card she held down. She wasn't sure about calling Dr. Braven's cell phone but she had needed advice about what to do and Dr. Braven seemed to be the only person who could help her.

A few hours later as Alex paced back and forth in her apartment; a knock at the door interrupted her. She'd been pacing so much that she was surprised she hadn't worn a hole right into the floor. She took a deep breath, smoothed down her shirt and mentally told herself that she needed to do this if she wanted things to be good again.

"Hey" Alex mumbled once the door was open.  
"Hi" Marissa answered, her hands shoved in the back of her jean pockets. They stood awhile just looking at each other.  
"Are you going to let me in?" Marissa joked.  
"Oh sorry!" Alex gestured for her to come in, "I'm just a little-"  
"Preoccupied?" Marissa supplied while Alex shut the door.  
"Something like that….do you want anything to drink?" Alex questioned making her way to the kitchen.  
"I'm okay thanks." Marissa replied taking a seat at the small dining table. The table they had picked out together. The brunette eyed the worn grooves that adorned the dark wood, and was brought back to the numerous times they had actually eaten at the table together. She'd missed the morning breakfast banter.

Alex tinkered around in the kitchen for a few minutes before bringing two glasses of water to the table. She stood behind the chair across from Marissa not making a move to sit down, which only seemed to add to the awkwardness in the room. The brunette eyed the chair across from her hoping that Alex would get the hint, eventually Alex finally caught on and sat down.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Marissa questioned placing her folded hands on the table.  
"Well," Alex paused glancing at Marissa quickly before looking back down at the table, "what happened when we were broken up…on a break…whatever you want to call it."  
"I don't want to talk about this, I don't want to have to go through it again. I mean you aren't still doing any of that stuff are you?" Marissa asked her voice full of skepticism.  
"Yeah, no I mean no. I'm not but I still think we should talk about it, clear the air or something…" Alex gestured between the two of them, "so that we can be okay."  
"Okay" the brunette sighed defeated.

She had wanted to avoid the conversation for as long as possible because she didn't want to know about the other people Alex had been with. She didn't want to imagine the faces that Alex had kissed, or the bodies that Alex had been with that weren't hers. She didn't want to know about the feelings or about the personalities; she didn't want any of it to be real. But mainly she didn't want it to hurt anymore and talking about it would only make it hurt more.

"Why did you want a break? Were you not happy anymore? Did it get to be too much? Was I too much?" the blond questioned the words just seemed to tumble out of her mouth at a frantic pace.  
"It wasn't you Alex, it really wasn't."  
"That's what people always say, it wasn't you it's me….obviously it was me."  
"No, it really wasn't you. I needed to figure things out. I felt like there were too many things going on. We were fighting so much…I thought if we spent some time apart it would help things not make things worse."  
"I could have helped you."  
"You've done enough for me. Since it happened you've been the only person I could depend on…I didn't want to burden you anymore. This wasn't and isn't your problem to deal with. I mean it was stressing me out so much, I didn't want it to wear you out too."  
"But even if we weren't together it still would. Love is about caring and worrying and being there. I don't understand why you felt like you had to face this on your own." Alex countered, trying to understand Marissa's motives.  
"I guess I just thought you could use a break from it all, from me." The brunette admitted.  
"Don't ever think that, when I'm not with you I'm missing you. The whole time we spent apart was so hard. I fall apart without you; I'm surprised I didn't just end up in a heap on the floor half the time."  
"You seemed to be doing fine." Marissa shot out bitterly, the whole keeping her composure thing wasn't working out so well anymore, "It's really hard for me to listen to you say things like that and know that you slept around when we were on our break…I mean you say things about missing me and falling apart but you were with someone new every night."  
"I tried to cope with the situation the best I could…I met people who helped me forget…I don't know what else to say. They helped me miss you less, at least in that moment. But nothing could make me forget, you were never far from my mind. I didn't plan any of this, it just happened." Alex admitted, she wasn't going to lie or pretend.  
"And kept happening and kept happening right?" The bitterness that laced Marissa's voice did not go unnoticed.

"Who told you about that stuff?" Alex questioned hesitantly after a few beats of silence.  
"Why does it matter who told me? No one had to tell me, I knew it was going on. I saw you a few times talking up strangers, putting your hands on them. Do you think it's easy to see something like that? To see the person you love with their hands all over someone else? Much less forget something like that?"  
"They didn't mean anything to me; the only person I care about is you. I know what I did was stupid and reckless but you've got to believe me there's no one out there for me other than you." Alex was pleading with Marissa at this point, she was desperate to get her girl back.  
"It's hard to believe you when your actions tell a different story." Marissa said crossing her arms across her chest in a protective manner, "How would you feel if you found out I slept with someone else while we on our break?"  
"Like shit" Alex mumbled, eyes cast downwards. **  
**"So you understand what I'm going through." Alex merely nodded subtly in agreement.

Another silence descended on them, this time instead of awkwardness there was an obvious tension in the air.

"What do I need to do to prove myself to you?" The blond finally asked.  
"I don't know if there's anything you can do."  
"There's got to be something that I can do to show you that you're the one for me."  
"What do you want from me Alex?" Marissa sighed, bringing her hand to her forehead.  
"I just want you," she answered simply as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "I want us to go back to how we were."

Marissa gave her a rueful smile before shaking her head sadly, "I wish it were that simple." Another silence followed, this time it was large enough to swallow the entire room whole.

"Let me make it up to you…" Alex managed, racking her brain for something, anything to say, "Let me take you out, let me show you I'm still the person you fell in love with…I'll still always be that person."  
"I don't know…"  
"C'mon what's it going to hurt?"  
"I really don't know Alex."  
"Everyone deserves a second chance…" the blond trailed off, hoping for the best.  
"I really don't know." Marissa repeated for the third time.  
"Just one shot, give me this last chance." At her own words Alex winced, she shouldn't have uttered the word 'last'. In her desperate attempt to get the brunette back words were just slipping out of her mouth and when she finally realized what she had said it was already too late to take it back.

Marissa looked at Alex skeptically for a few moments surprised at her word choice as well before she nodded slowly as if accepting that this last ditch attempt could be the end of them, "Okay" she murmured barely audible.


	13. Even Now

**Tidal Wave**

This chapter is really long…also the last post I made only got 1 review...1! That was a little disheartening, only cause I know there is more than one person reading this! Also there's only one chapter left after this.  
**  
Part Thirteen: Even Now**

Glancing at her watch Alex scrambled to finish getting dressed; she'd made all of the preparations and could only hope for the best. She hurriedly fastened her belt as she made her way out of her apartment and towards her car. After picking up all of the supplies, the drive to Marissa's only took five minutes due to the fact that Alex was not one to obey traffic laws.

While she stood at the front door she couldn't understand why she was so nervous. Maybe it was because she hadn't slept a wink the night before or maybe it was because everything she had with Marissa depended on tonight. Alex's palms were sweaty and she never got sweaty palms, or nervous for that matter, ever. As she waited for the door to open she contemplated how the night would go, it was pretty split either really good or really bad.

The door opened revealing a breathtaking Marissa, the brunette's hair hung loosely in soft waves and she wore a light blue strapless dress which only seemed to accent her natural beauty. Alex could feel her heartbeat race at the sight in front of her. This was why she was nervous, why she'd always be nervous when it came to Marissa.

"You look-"  
"You too" Marissa interrupted, which was accompanied by a slight giggle. The blond looked down at her casual t-shirt and jeans, feeling a blush creep up on her cheeks. She felt extremely under-dressed and not worthy of Marissa's company.

Once they were both settled in the car Alex reached into the backseat and pulled a brown paper bag forward. The brunette curiously unwrapped the bag and pulled out a bottle of '99 Bananas', once she saw the familiar bottle a smile crossed her face.  
"I know how much you hate flowers…and you know you make me go bananas" Alex trailed off sheepishly.  
"You remembered."  
"Of course I remember" Alex said before starting the car.

_Alex handed Marissa the bouquet of daises nervously, she didn't know what the brunette's favorite flower was so she had played it safe. A disdainful look crossed Marissa's features which only seemed to make her heart sink, it was only the first date and she was already failing._

_"You don't like them?" Alex questioned already knowing the answer.  
"It's not that I don't like them, I mean they're really pretty." Marissa offered.  
"They're really pretty but not for you."  
"I don't really like flowers is all, but thank you."  
"What do you like?" the blond asked knowing she'd bring what Marissa preferred next time, if there was a next time.  
"Booze"  
"Booze?" Alex repeated clearly confused.  
"Yep, liquor before flowers any day." Marissa laughed. _

The drive to the beach was spent in silence, neither felt a need to speak. Though it was quiet, there was no awkwardness or discomfort during the ride. Confusion crossed Marissa's face as Alex pulled into the beach parking lot. She parked the car in one of the far corners away from the other vehicles.

Alex didn't say a word as she got out of the car and began to grab things out of the trunk. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and grabbed the picnic basket in her other hand. Marissa stood idly waiting for Alex to finish, she was surprised when she felt Alex grab her hand and begin to lead her across the sand.

The air was warm and calm as they walked along the empty beach, after a few minutes Alex set the basket down and grabbed a blanket out of her backpack. They took a seat near one of the lifeguard towers and silently watched the waves. While Marissa watched the waves roll onto the sand and recoil back, Alex opened the basket and produced two glasses as well as a bottle of sparkling water.

"I thought we could take a break from drinking and just enjoy each others company."  
"That sounds good," Marissa agreed taking the glass that Alex held out for her, "plus beer and peanut butter and jelly don't go too well together."  
"Actually," Alex said beginning to pull something out of the basket, "I got your favorite instead." she finished as she produced a white carton.  
"Fried rice and chow mien?" Marissa exclaimed excitedly.  
"Nothing but the best for you."  
"But I love your peanut butter and jelly."  
"Would you have preferred that?"  
"Well you do make the best peanut butter and jelly…and I may have been missing it just a smidge due to the fact that I can't have them whenever I want."

There was something in the way that Marissa had phrased her words that made Alex beam, she knew she had never seen anyone else be that adorable before. It was almost like they hadn't spent anytime apart.

A comfortable quietness settled over the two as they poked at the food in their respectable containers. As the evening wore on the warmness in the air began to disappear. Alex had long ago shed her jacket and wrapped it around Marissa and though it had helped the brunette rid some of her chills she was still cold.

"I have another blanket in my car, I can go grab it." Alex offered, the goose bumps on her skin more pronounced due to the fact she was clad in a short sleeved t-shirt.  
"No, it's okay." Marissa shook her head.  
"You're cold, we can leave if you want."  
"It's fine, I'm fine. I want to stay."  
"But you're cold." Alex stated raising one of her eyebrows.  
"It's not so bad."  
"I'm going to go grab the other blanket and put this stuff in the car." The blond gestured to the empty cartons and her backpack. Marissa merely nodded in defeat as Alex began to collect her things.

When she had picked everything up, Alex gave Marissa a quick peck on the cheek along with a ruffle on the head before bouncing up and heading towards the car. The brunette put her hand to her cheek, feeling a blush creep into her face, glad that the darkness would hide it. She'd missed Alex a lot, but that simple action had proved she'd missed her more than she'd thought possible.

Marissa leaned her hands back and watched the water, wondering how much her life had turned around. She never would have expected to be where she was, especially not since everything that had happened. She didn't expect her and Alex's relationship to go through so much, but she felt like it had come out stronger. All those things that had happened had been pivotal.

The sound of footsteps interrupted her thoughts and Marissa turned her head expecting to see Alex. The face she saw was not Alex's; the person was tall and had a good amount of facial hair making it hard to make out his features. Her instincts caused her to jump immediately and wrap her arms around herself.

"What's a pretty girl like you out doing out here on your own?" the stranger drawled out slowly, inching closer.  
"What do you want?" Marissa questioned unmoving.  
"I just want to talk to you." He continued to inch forward, his features becoming clearer. The brunette noticed a scar running down the side of his face and disappearing into his beard, his hair was messy and unkempt. His eyes bore into hers before he let them roam over her body in a hungry manner. The look that filled his eyes made Marissa shudder.

"I'm a friendly guy."  
"Stay away from me!" The brunette snapped.  
"Let's go someplace…just you and me."

As Alex made her way back towards Marissa she couldn't wipe the smile from her face. Things were going so well that she knew there was no way she wouldn't get Marissa back. As Alex got closer she heard shouting and saw a figure standing near Marissa. She felt her blood begin to boil and dropped the blanket in her arms before running towards the two.

When Alex finally reached them, the stranger had a hand on Marissa's arm. Without thinking Alex pulled him backwards and shoved him into the sand, breaking his grip on the lanky girl.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Alex screamed at the figure on the ground.  
"This is between me and her." He said standing up quickly.  
"No, this is between you and me now." Alex said, standing in front of Marissa, so the man couldn't come any closer.  
"Walk away." Alex muttered, her eyes never leaving his.  
"Or what?" He laughed, "You going to hit me?" He was a good three inches taller than Alex and about double her size.

While Alex was getting ready to punch the stranger in the face, his fist collided with her right eye. Marissa watched in horror, as everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. The stranger successfully landed another punch this time making contact with Alex's nose. Blood started to gush out instantly. Alex oblivious to the pain in her face seemed to go mad and sucker punched the man in the stomach a few times, he doubled over and Alex brought her knee to his face. He fell to the ground instantly, his body lay in the fetal position.

There were no clear thoughts going through Alex's head, she just wanted to make him hurt. No one talked to her like that or Marissa for that matter. Alex could put up with a lot but not with someone touching the person she cared about. She was not going to let anyone hurt Marissa again, they'd have to deal with her first.

"I gave you the chance to walk away." She mumbled before taking a hold of Marissa's hand. As they began to walk past, Alex gave the man on the floor a swift kick in the groin for good measure. Marissa seemed to have the same thing in mind as she too gave him a good kick but to his face.

Once they were in the safety of the car, Alex turned her attention to Marissa.  
"Are you okay" She questioned, examining her once over.  
"I'm fine, are you okay?" Marissa asked her eyes wide.  
"Yeah, I'm fine." Alex answered.  
"You're bleeding and your eye is starting to swell."  
"God when he had his hands on you I wanted to kick his ass." Alex said ignoring Marissa's comment.  
"I could tell." Marissa responded pulling a handkerchief out of her purse and dabbing the blood from Alex's nose.  
"I don't like people, especially jerks like that, laying a hand on my girl."  
"Your girl?" Marissa questioned, her eyebrows raised. Her hand paused momentarily.  
"Well yeah," Alex answered sheepishly, "I gotta take care of you don't I?"

As Alex drove back to her apartment, Marissa wove their fingers together. The blond didn't understand why Marissa hadn't seemed shaken up or scared. It didn't make much sense to her but she knew better than to pry and if Marissa was okay than she was okay.

Once they had made it back into the apartment, Alex made a beeline for the couch immediately and laid down, while Marissa tinkered around in the small kitchen.  
"Did you see me Riss? I totally kicked his ass." Alex called out.  
"Yeah I saw, very macho of you. Do you want peas or corn?" Marissa questioned from her position in front of the fridge.  
"I'm not really hungry for either…" the blond trailed off confused.  
"They're not for eating; they're for your face." Marissa answered coming into the living room a bag of frozen vegetables in her hand. She took a seat on the floor besides the couch, where she had a good view of Alex's features.  
"How is it that there are peas and corn but no ice?"  
"I wish I could answer that Alex. He didn't break anything did he?" Marissa asked before examining Alex's eye and nose closely. The blond shook her head lightly; "I don't think so."  
"This is going to be cold." Marissa said before placing the bag of frozen corn over Alex's right eye and nose.  
"You know I totally could have done more to him." Alex stated through the bag of vegetables.  
"I know. I'm glad you stopped yourself. It could have been so much worse, why'd you have to be so stupid?"  
"Someone's gotta defend your honor, someone needs to protect you." Alex murmured holding the bag above her face. Marissa smiled gently before taking the bag from her and kissing the tip of her nose.  
"Ow," Alex smiled, "but totally worth it."

**One chapter to go!**


	14. Waves

**Tidal Wave**

Thanks for the reviews. I know, I know, this chapter is short, like really short. I'd also like to say that this is also the last installment.  
**  
Part Fourteen: Waves**

Marissa rolled over and propped herself up on one arm, watching the sleeping blond next to her. She felt a tug at her mouth when Alex's eyes fluttered open momentarily before closing again.  
"It's weird when you watch me sleep." She mumbled into the pillow.  
"You're so cute I can't help it."  
"Yeah but it's still creepy." She said draping a lazy arm over Marissa's torso and pulling her in closer.  
"You really have to stop doing that." Alex murmured, her eyes remaining closed.  
"Stop what?" Marissa questioned innocently.  
"You know what."  
"How do you even know I'm doing anything if your eyes aren't open?"  
"Because I can feel your eyes on me."  
"You can feel my eyes on you?"  
"Yes."  
"You are so weird."  
"Not as weird as you." Alex shot back, opening one eye just a fracture.  
"No, you are much weirder."  
"You're still doing it, how many times do I have to tell you it's creepy?"  
"Alex I can't help it, what am I supposed to look at? The wall? You should be flattered that I would spend so much of my precious time looking at you." Marissa answered pointedly with a jab to Alex's side; the action surprised her and the blond to roll away.

Almost as soon as Alex had rolled away, she had rolled back towards Marissa. This time wrapping both of her arms around the taller girl and burying her head in the crook of her neck.  
"I missed you." Alex mumbled into Marissa's neck, her breath tickling the brunette.  
"I missed you too."  
"I'm glad you're here."  
"Me too." Marissa responded with a smile.

They lay together enjoying the early morning quietness, simply basking in each other's company. Alex listened to the sound of Marissa's breathing, realizing for the first time how much comfort it brought her.

"Were you scared last night?" Alex asked, interrupting the silence.  
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. But I was prepared, I don't know if I told you, but I've been taking self defense classes and just learning ways to hold my own," Marissa paused, "I mean in case my knight in shining armor isn't with me." She finished with a laugh.  
"Well as long as you promise not to practice what you learn on me, I think we'll be okay."  
"I can't guarantee that." Marissa giggled. The sound of the happiness in Marissa's tone brought joy to Alex's ears.

"So what do you want to do today?"  
"I want to go to the beach."  
"Again?" Alex questioned with a raise of her eyebrow.  
"I'm not finished yet; I want to go to the beach and get balboa bars and then watch the tide change."  
"Balboa bars and tide change huh? This early?"  
"I couldn't think of a better time," the taller girl responded instantly, "or with anyone else" and with that she connected her lips with Alex's.

For the first time in what felt like forever things were finally going good between them again.

**Its official, after two years this story is finally complete. Thanks for the reviews and for sticking with be working on Over My Head, so expect an update on that in a few days? Or a week...or soon.  
**


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